Siblings

Most know I have a 16 year old sister. Same parents just 12.5 years apart. I wasn't thrilled at first since I was the baby and was spoiled before she came along but I got used to the fact. She was born and I liked having a little sister. We were close even though the age difference. Even when I moved out I tried to spend time with her as much as I could and we both loved the time we had together. Then I got pregnant with Shaylee and everything changed for the worst. Logan became unfriendly and rude to me. I thought she would change after Shaylee was born boy was I wrong she got worse. She was rude to not only me but started being terrible to our parents and everyone else. I noticed she would get whatever she wanted no matter the money as well even if my parents didn't have the money they would charge it to the credit card. I love my parents, they are great with Shaylee and Shaylee absolutely adores them but honestly they don't do a good job with Logan. I would have gotten the shit beat out of me if I ever acted the way Logan does. I KNEW better they raised me better. Yes I know she gets better grades than I did but honestly that isn't good enough for me if I was mom and dad it wouldn't be enough I would make her get her act together and act RESPECTFUL to others especially Shaylee, Steve and I , she likes Cassie. It's like mom and dad just gave up on her and just said heck with telling her no and so on.
We barely talk to each other only if we have to. She ignores Shaylee and Shaylee ADORES the living crap out of Logan but Logan is mean and pushes her away. I TRY to spend time with Logan just us but her and I are so different now I get sick of listening to her talk about the music group she likes ( we usually like the same music but not this time) and she gets sick of listening to me talk about the girls. It's a lose lose situation right now. MAYBE when and if she has kids she will understand me better........ yes that's right she SWEARS she isn't having kids because of Shaylee because Shaylee is apparently the WORST 3 year old ever( what other 3 year olds is she around???????) I want to slap her most of the time I am around her.
WOuld life have been better as an only child....????Who knows, I love her she's my sister but I don't like her that's for sure.
I have been feeling like my parents like her more here lately and that they don't want to be around me. Don't get me wrong they love the girls but me not so sure as of lately. it just seems it's all about Logan.

This is NOT how I want MY girls to be raised. Shaylee and Cassie 3 months away from being 3 years apart. yes Shaylee is having a hard time adjusting BUT she adores her Cassie still and Cassie loves her sissy and smiles the biggest smile EVER seen when Shaylee is talking to her. I want them to be close I know they will fight since they are siblings and close in age but I want them to play together I want them to be their for each other , I want them to hang out together and have that bond that Logan and I have lost.

Trying to stay positive

As most know Steve lost his job in summer of last year . We had NO choice but to get on PA if we wanted to provide for our girls . I HATE being on it !! I feel everyone is looking down at us like we are dirt ,like we are NOT . The second I can get off of PA I will . It doesn't help that I haven't worked in 3 years and people are afraid to hire me because of that !! Sorry if I was able to be a SAHM for 3 years because we COULD afford for me to stay home . Now we can't I need to find a job . Steve wants to go back to school and once he does and gets a job I can be a SAHM again . People just don't realize that some people on PA truly are trying to make a better life for thier family .......

Alittle bit of everything

Steve is going back to school he was going for HVAC but after careful consideration he decided on doing something he already knows a little about and is easy on him health wise.

I am still filling out applications for many places all different hours I just want to get my foot in a door for awhile till Steve gets started with schooling then figure out if I need to quit or work a different shift. Him going back to school will benefit us the most .

We will figure it out and do what's best for us as a family like we always do. We just know that we want one of us to be with the girls at all times NO daycare NO babysitters ( unless my parents ) .

Shaylee being almost 3 1/2 is going VERy slow when it comes to potty training . She was doing awesome before she got sick going once a day in her potty and such after she got sick she is not telling us when she needs to go pee so starting tomorrow we are going to panties when we are home and make LIMITED outings if NO outings for a few days . She WILL be potty trained by January for preschool .

Cassie is getting teeth she has one almost breaking through and another trying to come through . This is new to us since Shaylee didn't get a tooth till 11 months !!!!!!!!!!

Cassie is also 21 lbs 1 oz and 27 ! She will be in her new carseat starting tomorrow as well . YAY LOVE it and can't wait to see her in it . It is a SK Radian 80SL RF 45 lbs FF 80 lbs how awesome is that !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????? Steve thinks it's terrible that I want to RF till she is 45 lbs but that's is the safest for her . I just wish Shaylee had this seat when she was younger BUT she is safe in a harnessed seat so I feel good for that.

Memories

Tonight the 3 of us , Cassie just hanging out chewing on her Eli , were being silly making each other laugh and having fun . We somehow came to the subject of how Steve's grandma would have loved to have been around us tonight because she was also spunky and silly , great to be around. She would have gotten a kick out of Shaylee and her silly sassyness !! LOL she was such a wonderful person to be around , always positive and happy . She would have wanted to hold Cassie and cuddle her as long as possible .
It makes me sad to know that grandma Sylvia isn't around but the memories are.
The girls will only know of her from stories . They will also never know any of Steve's side because the people that TRULY cared about him are not with us anymore . His mom wants nothing to do with us and because of her actions in the past anyway we want her negativity away from the girls they don't need her in our lives because she doesn't really love us . MY family loves the girls and they get plenty of love from them . Yes it's sad but our life. They will only know one set of grandparents.

6 months old !

My baby Cassie is 6 months !!!! Where did the time go ??? It went so fast , I was just pregnant with her dreaming of what she would look like etc, then she was just born and now 6 months has past !!! She goes in for her check up the 27th. She has been rolling over , giggling , "talking" , trying to crawl , just getting so big . I love her so much .

Lazy days

With Shaylee being sick we have had to stay home which was sad because it was so nice out . I felt so lazy since I wasn't getting enough sleep those days that I didn't do much at . Now that she is feeling better I gotta get caught up on cleaning . I got the laundry from last week folded and put away but now I have laundry from this week to fold and put away now . I have dishes caught up . I am now getting ready to clean out my pantry and reorganize it so I can go stock up on some more can and boxed foods. I LOVE going to Aldi's . I try and go every couple of months and stock up . Used to hate that place when I was a kid I was too good for that store back then !! LOL Now that I am married and older I realize I am NOT too good for Aldi's . I also have to run the sweeper the carpet looks like crap ! I won't let the baby on the floor till I get the carpet clean !!

My sick baby

Shaylee after 3 years has gotten sick . She started throwing up a week ago on a Saturday . Threw up alot during that night. I ended up sleeping in her room with her that night since she has never been sick through out her little short life. Sunday the second day she woke up with a high fever and continued to have one off and on during that day but no throwing up . Monday no fever but started getting diarrhea that lasted 24 hours . Tuesday she didn't have any vomiting , fever or diarrhea but she wouldn't eat or drink . We tried everything and we got really worried and ended up taking her to the ER Wednesday . She wasn't dehydrated but they thought she could possibly have phenomena because her right lung sounded funny . She had Xrays and did great with them and they came out just viral . She's back to normal thankfully .
We took all the precautions but Cassie started to throw up yesterday my 30th birthday . Had to postpone plans for my birthday till everyone is all better .